Homeless Thief Trades Laptop and iPhone for Egg McMuffin

In lieu of a post on an obscure Texas law this week, I have a bizarre story for you. This is a true story about something that happened to a coworker of mine in Washington DC this past week. I’m trying to convince her to write something about it for the Washington Post, but she doesn’t think it’s newsworthy. I disagree simply because it is so crazy and bizarre (and funny to everyone but her). So here goes.

My coworker, we’ll call her Lindsay, is a Marine officer and lawyer. Lindsay lives alone in a basement apartment in a, how should we say it, not-so-well-to-do section of Washington DC. She calls it a “transitional community.” On Monday morning, Lindsay woke up, got dressed, put on a pot of coffee and plugged her cell phone into her computer that was on the coffee table in the living room. Then she noticed a package waiting for her outside her front door. Lindsay went outside to get the package and did not lock the front door when she came back in. After all, who needs to lock the front door when they are about to walk right back out of it in 10 minutes to go to work?

Lindsay then went back to her bathroom to tie her hair into a neatly shaped bun, a daily requirement for female Marines (those with long hair at least). When she returned to her living room (only 10 minutes later) to retrieve her piping hot cup of Joe she went to grab her cell phone and found that it was missing. Not only that, the computer to which she had just plugged it in was also missing. Knowing good and well that her coffee had not yet begun to take the desired effect, Lindsay began questioning whether she had actually plugged her phone into her computer 10 minutes ago. “Was this the early onset of Alzheimer’s?” she thought as she checked the refrigerator and freezer for her computer and phone. Finally, after scouring the house, she gave up and went to work.

Lindsay told me about her troubles as soon as she walked in the door to our Pentagon office and then she called her bank and credit card company. Believing now that someone had entered her house and stolen her laptop and phone, she also tried to report the incident to the DC police, but they refused to take the complaint. “You have to be calling us from inside your home or we cannot do anything.” She protested by kindly pointing out that the perpetrator had stolen her phone, but they weren’t convinced.

Right about now you might be thinking, “Okay, so what? She was burglarized. What’s so crazy about that?” Well here’s the crazy (and ridiculously lucky) part of the story. About an hour after she got to work, Lindsay received an odd message. Someone had called our office to report that she was in possession of Lindsay’s computer and cell phone. Lindsay called the woman who confirmed that she indeed had the laptop and cell phone and they arranged a time and place to meet up. When Lindsay met the woman she received the rest of the story.

This woman (the one that found the laptop and phone) was walking to work near the Washington Navy Yard when she saw a little homeless man walking down the street carrying a laptop and an iPhone. In fact, the iPhone was still plugged into the compter.  Finding the Apple-laden homeless man a bit out of place, the woman approached the him and said “Hey, I don’t think that laptop and cell phone belong to you. How about I buy you some breakfast at McDonald’s and you give me the laptop and cell phone so that I can return them to their rightful owner.” (After all, what’s a MacBook Pro when you can have a tasty egg McMuffin, right?) The homeless man agreed, enjoyed a McDonald’s breakfast and promptly relinquished the contraband items.

Later Lindsay paid the kind woman back for the homeless man’s breakfast and thanked her for stepping in. She is still pretty “creeped-out” as she puts it, that a random homeless man just let himself into her apartment while she was in the back room, but she has learned a valuable lesson about locking the door behind her. As Lindsay told us the story while we went for a jog around Capitol Hill, we wondered whether we would stop a homeless man to ask where he got a laptop/phone. We’re not sure we would have done that, but Lindsay sure is glad someone did.

The Facebook Instruction

As I was perusing my typcial news sources this morning, I came across this article about a Tarrant County juror who was excused from a civil case and then charged with contempt for trying to "friend" the defendant in the case on Facebook.  That's the world in which we live, I suppose.  Everything is real-time, social media is pervasive, and folks are indiscriminate about what they do online.  It has already been and will continue to be interesting to see how the trial judges tackle this issue in their instructions to venire panels.

No Toddler TSA Pat-Downs In Texas

Apparently, the Texas House just passed a bill that would make it a crime to touch (even through the clothing) a person's anus, buttocks, genitals, or breats during an airport security check.  See news report HERE.

Hmm...what other federal practices can we outlaw with State legisation?

Get This Man a Time Machine!

Click HERE to read about a Texas man that was recently cleared by DNA evidence for a crime that sent him to jail 30 years ago.  It's a shame Marty McFly and Doc Brown aren't around to transport him back in time to relive his life sans prison.

More coverage of this case HERE.

This Ain't My First Rodeo!

Whether it be Justin, Tony Lama, or Lucchese, many Texas lawyers prefer the comfort and style of boots as the footwear of choice in the courtroom.  So you can just imagine the hate and discontent that was caused by a local court rule banning lawyers from wearing cowboy boots in the courtroom.  See what happened HERE, as reported by the Austin American Statesman.

Man Charged with Child (Mental) Endangerment for Watching Online Porn

I have been terribly busy this week - working that is, not watching online porn.  A man in Amarillo, however, has been doing the latter, and now he's been charged with endangering his 8 and 9 year-old children.

Amarillo.com reports HERE that the Randall County District Attorney has filed child endangerment charges against a man for showing pornography to his daughters.

Lawyers Convicted of Theft by Deception in Dramatic Sex Scandal

Many times while reading appellate case law, I find myself searching for that legal wrinkle that makes the case worth reading (or blawging about).  Sometimes, the significance of the appellate decision is more obvious.  Other times (like today), I read a case, the facts of which are just so darn compelling, I don't even pay attention to the legal arguments.  Here's a good one for you:

Wife finds out that husband is cheating on her and that he has been perusing an adult internet site.  Eager to "catch him in the act" she signs up for an online profile and describes herself as a sex-starved housewife, looking for the kind of pleasure that only a strong man can provide.  He never takes the bait, but several other gentlemen (all very prominent, well-to-do, gentlemen) cash-in on her offer (all on separate occasions and without knowledge of the others).  Husband gets wind of her indiscretions and confronts her at an Austin hotel on the very eve of one such encounter.  Rather than fight, or pursue a divorce, they hatch a plan.  (It's somewhat possible that this plan was hatched before she met the 4 gentlemen, but it isn't clear from the record).

Husband, a Texas lawyer, drafts Rule 202 petitions under the Texas Rules of Civil Procedure seeking testimony and evidence relevant to potential claims (bogus claims) against the 4 gentlemen and his wife.  Wife, also an attorney (not sure if she is licensed in TX), helps him by editing his drafts.  She then contacts each of the men, tells them that her husband found out about the affair and would like to speak with them.  Each ultimately agrees to meet with the husband and at the meeting he serves the Rule 202 petitions, along with a not-so-subtle letter "suggesting" that they pay him a large sum of money (checks payable to him or a sham charity).  Husband collects a total of $115,000 from the 4 gentlemen in exchange for letters of non-disclosure.  Husband and Wife magically reconcile their rocky relationship and use the money as a down-payment on a new $625,000 home.

It isn't clear how this ordeal was ultimately discovered, but Husband and Wife are eventually charged with Theft by Deception for the shakedowns.  Not sure of the final outcome of Husband's trial (please fill me in if you know), but Wife is convicted of 5 counts and awarded ten years' confinement for each count, to run concurrently (suspended and placed on 10 years community supervision).

Wow!  That is the stuff of soap operas!  If you want to find out more about this story and see if you know the attorneys involved (forgot to mention, one of the gentlemen callers was also a Texas attorney), see the opinion of the 4th District Court of Appeals (San Antonio) in Roberts v. State, 17 March 2010, HERE.

Reasonable Suspicion Standard is Alive and Well in the 7th Court of Appeals - Whew!

The 7th District Court of Appeals just reversed and remanded the case of Gonzalez-Gilando v. State, NO. 07-09-0290-CR, because the officers lacked reasonable suspicion to make the stop (wherein the drugs were discovered) and it is easy to see why.

The troopers testified that they grew suspicious because:

1. The vehicle was clean (lacked road grime);
2. The young occupants did not "fit" the year and model of the vehicle ('99 Lumina);
3. The occupants should have been in a sportier car;
4. Both occupants looked away as the vehicles met and passed;
5. The occupants turned their hats around after the cars passed;
6. The car slowed to almost a complete stop at a blinking caution light adjacent to an intersection;
7. The driver drove within the speed limit.

Can you believe that!  That was the best "reasonable suspicion" that they could come up with!  You would think that with time to prepare, they could have come up with something better than that!

The Court summed it up best:

It is not a crime in this State to drive a clean car, look away from passing police officers, drive a vehicle of one's choice, obey traffic warnings, and abide by posted speed limits.

Waco Man Hoping for Probation Gets 20 Years in Prison After Oversleeping Court Date

You can't make this stuff up folks.

So long as the defendant showed up to his sentencing hearing, the State was going to recommend 8 years probation and a $500 fine for his plea of guilty to burglary of a habitation, but if he failed to show, his prior plea would simply be considered and open plea to the court. The defendant overslept and the judge sentenced him to 20 years in prison (he'll be eligible for parole in 5).

See the entire article HERE.